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Archive for January 28th, 2013

loving life on a hikeI am tired today. In truth I’ve been tired for quite some time, and I’ve been around Alcoholics Anonymous long enough now to recognize that as a warning sign.

Once I reach the point where my mind is tired, then my body follows, and then I have opened the door to my own personal demons.

I write constantly, trying to find that perfect word, that perfect phrase, that will capture my audience and stir them into action.  So far I haven’t found it, and I begin to wonder if I ever will.

I worry about money, that ever-present anchor around my neck.  I worry about the fact that we don’t have medical coverage, and what will happen if Bev or I really do get sick enough to need a trip to the hospital.

I worry, and that makes me tired.  I need a vacation but I also realize that vacations cost money and we have so little.

So I am tired, and I recognize that fact, and so I need to do something about it.  I cannot allow myself to stay tired for long, because my demons need to stay in the background where they can’t harm me.  To allow them to roam free is to invite the madness of alcoholism back into my life.

In AA we refer to it as H.A.L.T….hungry, angry, lonely, tired, four warning signs that we need to make some changes.

So I need to make changes. I just don’t know what they will be.

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