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A Very Short Update

I haven’t been here in a very long time.  As I explained at one time, I’m a writer by profession, but I don’t want to be known as a recovering alcoholic writer…that seems a bit too contrived, and it is only a small part of who I am.

But I know it is important for many recovering alcoholics to hear good news occasionally as they walk their path, so I just dropped by today to tell you that tomorrow is ten-and-a-half years of continual sobriety and happiness.

If I can do it then you can too, because I was pretty much hopeless in 2006.

If you would like to say in touch, I’m found much more often on my writing blog at https://artistrywithwords.com/ or on my urban farming blog at

https://theurbanfarmyardsanctuary.wordpress.com

Bill

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loving life on a hikeI rarely write in this blog anymore, but I saw I had three new followers so decided I should make an appearance.

On November 16th I celebrated nine years of sobriety.

Life is good!

I have completely changed my life in nine years. I have completely changed my lifestyle in nine years, and I’ve completely changed friends and relationships.  Only family remains from those tumultuous years when ego ran rampant and I was determined to kill myself slowly with my best friend clutched in my hand.

I am my message of hope for all of you. I am a success story, a living symbol that life can be great without alcohol or drugs.

Blessings to you all!

bill

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much younger daysThis is a message to family members and loved ones of alcoholics.

This message has two parts….what you owe an alcoholic and what you don’t owe an alcoholic.

First, what you owe them……love and compassion!  If you have an alcoholic who is a member of your family, or is just a beloved friend, then by definition you owe them love and compassion.  That is the definition of love, is it not?  One does not love only when times are good.  Love is unconditional and yes, it should be expected even when dealing with an alcoholic who is ego-driven and prone to hurting you.

Compassion is owed to an alcoholic because they are a sick human being.  Alcoholism is a disease, and the same compassion you show a cancer victim should be given to an alcoholic.

Now for what you don’t owe an alcoholic!booze

You do not owe them any acts of enabling.  You do not owe them a call into work saying they are sick when in fact they are hung over.  You do not owe them understanding and you do not owe them forgiveness.  They have harmed you and they are the ones who must make amends to you.  The onus of recovery is theirs and theirs alone.

Alcoholics require tough love.  They need to be told straight up that they are hurting others and you will not put up with it, but if they want help you will help them find the assistance they need to recover.

Yes, alcoholism is a disease, but once armed with that information then the alcoholic can find relief from that disease….all it takes is a willingness to do so.  Unlike a cancer patient, the alcoholic can return to a normal life….but again, it takes a willingness to do so.

If the alcoholic in your life is not willing to do so, you owe them nothing but love and compassion.

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Alcoholism Ain’t About Willpower.

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Most of us, at one time or another, have heard it said that if we just try hard enough we can give up booze.  That, my friends, is hogwash.

Finding peace as an alcoholic is about a complete psychic change….it is about becoming a new person, and that means turning our lives inside out and starting over.

A physical addiction cannot be willed away.  An obsession of the mind cannot be willed away.  Many of the alcoholics I have known were very willful people, but that did not prevent them from drinking, oftentimes with calamitous results.

It is often said that alcohol is but a symptom of the real problem, and that real problem is the alcoholic.  Once we have accepted that fact, and once we have begun the process of changing who we are, then we can begin to walk the Happy Road of Destiny!

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I welcome you to my world.

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Make no mistake about it, you can be happy as an alcoholic.  However, and this is a big however, it takes work….hard work….and determination.

This is not about willpower.  You will fail if willpower is your only solution.  This is about changing your life.  This is about changing who you are.  This is about a complete overhaul of the person you once were.

Excuses are a dime a dozen, and any alcoholic has heard most of them….and used most of them.  The question that needs to be answered is this:  Are you willing to go to any lengths to quit drinking and live a sober, productive life?  If the answer is yes then your reward will be happiness.  If the answer is no, then I wish you well on your journey.

I will not lecture in this blog; I will simply tell you the truth as I know it….as I know it!  My truth may not be your truth and that is fine.  All I can do is relate my truth and if it helps you then so much the better.

I wish you peace!  I wish you happiness!

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